Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
