Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Screwed.edu
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
