Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
