I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
40s are totally the cure
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize