pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
