im drinking this country out of the recession.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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