This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
