I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
