He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
