Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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