Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You surviving the open bar?
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the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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