I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
