Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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