I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
