Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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