did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
They are going to name an STD after you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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