You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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