he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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