They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up under a house in Key West
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
