just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
