Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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