We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
