He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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