Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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