I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
