I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
