Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
