Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
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Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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