that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
