When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize