Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
