Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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