i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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