And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
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I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
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so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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