We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She's the barista slut.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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