I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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