it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
