So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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