Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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