Can i not drive my cunt home
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
