guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
