I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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