the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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