During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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