do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She said her name was "party"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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