drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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