my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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