I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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