Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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