How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
