is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I want her autograph on my taint
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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