I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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