Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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