I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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