Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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