Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
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It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
is it fun? or sober?
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