My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
