It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
