And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
