Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I will die if light touches me.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
