I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
this will be a night to untag.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
