i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
