Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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