I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
