why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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