your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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